Cast Your Vote, Release Your Control

I recently picked up Lysa TerKeurst’s new book, Making Peace with What I Can’t Control. I speak about this subject quite a bit, particularly the difference between our circle of control and our circle of concern. As I started reading, the timing seemed especially fitting considering the election tomorrow.

Kansas is a hot spot right now and definitely getting its fair share of media attention. I will be so glad when I don't have to see another political ad or find 17 things in my mailbox every day! It is absolute overload. And then you add social media to the mix, where you can watch reel after reel of political rhetoric. It can be exhausting.

In my conversations with patients about control, I often come back to a definition Lysa discusses early in her book: "to have power over."

When I describe myself as a bit of a "control freak," I think about a flight I once took from the Joplin airport to Dallas. For those of you who aren't familiar with the Joplin airport, we are talking TINY. Walk out onto the tarmac to board the plane, no covered walkway, tiny!  As I boarded, I asked the pilot (semi-jokingly) if he could keep the cockpit doorway open so I could see out the windshield. I thought it was because I wanted to feel more in control of the situation. I wanted to see where we were going!

But as I have thought more about control, I have gained a little different perspective.  Perhaps we exhibit control when we are afraid.  Let that sink in for a minute.  Think about the times you have tried to control a situation, another person, or an outcome. How often was it really because you were afraid of what might happen?  When I took an honest look at the times I have acted like a control freak, I realized that fear is often somewhere underneath it.

As a supervisor, I wanted all the details. I wanted to know what was happening, why it was happening, and what the plan was. Looking back, perhaps that need to know everything came from a fear of a bad outcome or the fear that someone might question my decisions.  When I try to control my kids, it is probably rooted in a deep desire to protect them. I don't want them to get hurt by circumstances, by people, or by the things life throws their way.  And when I find myself watching reel after reel about the political climate, if I am really honest, it isn't always because I am trying to educate myself. Sometimes it is because I am scared of what this nation is becoming.

Fear has a way of making us believe that if we just know enough, plan enough, watch closely enough, or manage every detail, we can somehow prevent the things we are afraid of from happening.  But can we?  When we spend so much energy trying to control everything around us, perhaps we lose sight of the One who truly is in control.  And thankfully, His control isn't rooted in fear. It is rooted in love, purpose, and promises that are bigger than anything we can see or understand.

Jeremiah 29:11 reminds us that He knows the plans He has for us. Plans for good and not disaster, to give us a hope and a future.  Maybe making peace with what we can't control begins with recognizing what is driving our need to control in the first place.  Maybe it starts by asking ourselves: Am I trying to control this because it is mine to manage, or because I am afraid of what might happen if I don't?  We have a circle of control and a circle of concern. And sometimes the most important thing we can do is recognize the difference, release what was never ours to carry, and put our trust where it belongs.  Just another reminder that we don't have to control everything around us.

And as we head to the polls tomorrow, perhaps this is a good reminder. We have a voice, we have a responsibility, and we have the opportunity to participate. So do your research, make your decision, and go vote. That is within our circle of control. The outcome? That is not.  We can care deeply about what happens in our communities, our state, and our country without allowing the weight of it to steal our peace. We can be informed without being consumed, engaged without being overwhelmed, and concerned without living in fear.

So tomorrow, exercise your right to vote. And then take a deep breath, step away from the political noise, and remember Who is ultimately in control.