I Was Fired — And I’m Finally Okay Saying It Out Loud

I can finally say it out loud: I was fired.  Now, those weren’t the exact words that were said to me. What I was told sounded much more polished and political:  “The job you’ve held for the last three years is being restructured… we’re going in a different direction.”  Translation? I was fired.  At the time, those words hit hard. I poured so much of myself into that role — late nights, extra projects, showing up for everyone else — and suddenly it was gone. But life has a funny way of working things out exactly when it’s supposed to.

Fast forward a couple of years to now,  I had the opportunity to attend a phenomenal training where I learned a new eye movement technique. Clinicians are taught to try out new techniques ourselves, and I saw it as the perfect chance to do just that.  This technique can be used for everyday stress but is also effective for deeper emotional healing, even trauma. During the training, I decided to be vulnerable and explore my own story — including the job loss I’d tucked away for far too long.  And here’s what’s amazing: after going through the process, I could finally say the words “I was fired” without a negative emotional response.  I felt calm. Free, even.

So let’s take a peek into how it all came together.  A few weeks before that training, I had been sitting in the waiting room at the VA hospital while my son had an appointment. The TV was on, and I half-listened to a segment featuring women discussing the taboo of getting fired.  It barely registered at the time. But later, after my training, that conversation came back to me — and I realized how much losing my job had truly impacted me.   It had shaken my confidence, my sense of worth, even fueled my day-to-day anxiety.  That’s when I remembered the book they were talking about in that news segment:  All the Cool Girls Get Fired. I downloaded it immediately and began listening, and holy cow.  The lessons in that book hit me right where I needed them. It validated my feelings and helped me see things differently.

The biggest lesson I learned?  We should never attach our personal value on our work.  For years, I believed that until I became “the director,” I wouldn’t feel fulfilled. I thought if I worked harder, did more, and made others proud, then I’d finally be enough.  But through that training — and the book — I realized that getting fired was just one data point in a much larger career.  One. In a lifetime full of data points that reflect the people I’ve served, the lessons I’ve learned, and the difference I’ve made.  Work can absolutely have value. But it can’t be the only place we find our value.

As I listened to the book on my commute, I found myself smiling and nodding (probably confusing the people driving next to me). I realized that during that difficult season, I had actually done many things right.  The book shares practical advice — from legal and HR insights to healthcare tips — along with inspiring stories from others who had been fired and came out stronger on the other side.  And you know what? They made it.  And so did I.

So here’s my take away, getting fired doesn’t define you.  Your job is not your worth.  Sometimes things just don’t work out — and that’s okay.  So, be brave enough to talk about it out loud. Maybe you need to reach out to a friend, a therapist.  Maybe you will get to attend an awesome training.  Maybe you’ll pick up that book you keep meaning to read.  Whatever it looks like, don’t be afraid to “own your story” — because you never know who might need to hear it.

If you’re in a season where something ended unexpectedly — a job, a relationship, a plan — please know this: you are not alone. There’s healing and even freedom in saying the hard things out loud.  Sometimes, getting “fired” is actually just being redirected.  And that, I’ve learned, is something worth being grateful for.