Celebrate Good Times Come on!

How do you want to be celebrated?

It’s a question I never really thought much about until I attended a training at Gallup about our strengths. During that training, something clicked for me. So often we celebrate people the way we think they should be celebrated. And sometimes… that can be the worst thing we do.

I remember hearing a story about an executive who wanted to recognize one of her employees. She was incredibly proud of her and decided to award her with a plaque during a large meeting in front of all of her colleagues. She went on and on about how amazing the employee was, then invited her to come to the stage to accept the award and say a few words.  After it was all done, the employee quietly looked at her boss and said, “If you ever do something like that to me again, I will quit.”  For that employee, the moment wasn’t exciting or meaningful. It was anxiety-provoking and deeply uncomfortable. The boss had the best intentions, but it illustrated an important lesson: we have to know the people around us and how they want to be celebrated.

Each of us is different. Just because we think we know what someone will love doesn’t mean that’s how they want to be recognized.  For example, I hate surprises. Most people close to me know this. I’m pretty sure it has something to do with my need to control everything around me, but I just don’t enjoy being surprised. I would much rather be part of the planning process.  Now, anyone who knows me also knows how hypocritical I can be about this. I absolutely love surprising other people. I love seeing the joy on their faces and using all the little cues I’ve picked up along the way to create something that makes them feel special.

Six years ago, in my favorite month of March, we were hit with a pandemic. Definitely not the kind of surprise anyone wants.  But when I look back now, I find myself smiling at some of the memories we created during that strange season. Especially the birthdays.  We found unique ways to celebrate each other and make the best of a situation none of us could have imagined. While I would never want to relive a pandemic, those months together as a family created some amazing memories.

My birthday was the first one we celebrated after everything started shutting down. In fact some would say my birthday is when the true shut down began and I still remember how strange that time was. Suddenly buying gifts, going shopping, and even the simplest things became difficult.  That made it even more important to celebrate each other.

During our family time, there was lots of painting, a band concert, and some pretty creative birthday celebrations. One of my favorite gifts during that time was something we made for Stuart—a collection of little presents that highlighted all the different YouTube channels he loved to watch as he passed the time all those days.  It wasn’t fancy. But it was thoughtful. And it was personal.  And that’s really the point.

Celebration isn’t about the size of the moment. It’s about knowing someone well enough to celebrate them in a way that actually means something to them.

While the circumstances back then were far from ideal, I hope my kids remember how loved they were during that time.

I mean, they even got a dog out of the pandemic… a dog that I’m still stuck with six years later.  Not exactly the gift I would have picked—but apparently the one the family wanted.