LOVE, Lights, and the Art of the Perfect Gift

Man, do I LOVE Christmas. I love the twinkly lights, but maybe most of all, I love finding the perfect gift. There’s something meaningful about truly understanding a person and choosing a gift that reflects who they are.

Years ago, I had the opportunity to do a training with the Gallup organization called StrengthsQuest. The idea behind it is simple but powerful: when we work from our areas of strength, we tend to be more successful in all areas of life. One of the 34 strengths is Individualization. When I was training others, I often joked that I call this strength “the best gift giver.” People with this strength see others as individuals—they notice what makes each person unique. That understanding helps them communicate, connect, and yes, give thoughtful gifts. But it can also be a curse. Sometimes the pressure to find the perfect gift becomes overwhelming, and you end up stuck. I can relate more than I’d like to admit.

Celebrating people is incredibly important to me. I love listening closely and picking up on the little cues that lead to just the right gift. At Christmas, I often find myself simply watching others open their presents and soaking in the delight on their faces. I don’t need gifts of my own—my joy comes from watching everyone else. 

As a therapist, I often talk about the five love languages, one of which is receiving gifts. 

Prevention magazine explains it this way:

“For those whose love language is receiving gifts, they feel most special when receiving a heartfelt physical representation of how much a person loves you. It’s not about being materialistic—it’s about the thought behind the gift. It’s a symbol of how well I know you, how much I care, and how closely I listen.”

When I work with couples, I often remind them that if receiving gifts is their partner’s love language, the gift doesn’t have to be expensive. What matters is thoughtfulness and understanding. Sometimes it doesn’t even have to cost money at all.

One of my favorite gifts from my husband is a bouquet of Black-eyed Susans he picks me off the side of the road every year in June. It doesn’t cost him a dime—unless he gets caught, since that’s illegal in my state (and many others). For legal reasons, I won’t be sharing the time or location of this prized find.

At its core, gift-giving is about appreciation. It’s about showing someone that they matter and that you’re paying attention to the little things.  And during the Christmas season, we’re reminded of the greatest gift of all—the gift of Christ. This season, I hope you can spend time with family, enjoying the peace, love, joy, and hope He offers each of us. Relish the moments, and cherish the gifts you receive—both tangible and spiritual.