What Do You See in the Mirror?

I love going to Goodwill stores. I always seem to find the best deals on the cutest things. My husband swears I end up rebuying things I’ve already donated, but he’s wrong—I promise.  A while back, I found an adorable jumper. I don’t think I’ve ever worn a jumper in my life, but somehow, I felt confident I could pull this one off. When I got it home, it felt a little snug, so I hung it up for a while. But one day, I decided to try it on again. This time, it felt a little looser. I didn’t linger in the mirror—I just headed off to work.  I stopped at a gas station to grab a drink, and the attendant surprised me with a sweet compliment:  “That outfit is so cute.”  I smiled and said, “Thank you so much.”  When I got to work, another compliment came my way:  “You look really cute today.”  I smiled again, proud of my modest find from Goodwill.  All these compliments made me feel good—until I took a picture of the outfit.  And suddenly, I felt sad.  In that photo, I didn’t see the confidence I felt earlier. I saw someone who still struggles with her weight. Someone who doesn’t always feel at home in her body. Someone tired of battling autoimmune issues and the relentless effort it takes to feel “normal.”

As a therapist, I often hear clients say, “I just want to eat what I want. I don’t want to spend hours in the gym.”  Me too, sister. I feel your pain.  There are so many factors that affect how we look and feel—hormones, stress, injuries, illness. The list goes on. But our weight should never be the only lens through which we see ourselves. We are more than a number on the scale, more than how our pants fit.  That said, grace and accountability must go hand in hand. We don’t get a free pass to neglect ourselves—but we do deserve kindness in the hard seasons.  So if you’re in that place—tired, stuck, self-critical—start small.  Five minutes of movement today is five more than you did yesterday.  Be honest about how you feel. Chances are, someone else feels it too.  Then, take one step this week to shift something in your life.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.  Just make it real.  Just make it yours.