The Planner

Planning is hard. And honestly, I think a lot of that starts with school.  When my kids were younger, they’d get school-issued planners every year. They wrote their assignments in them, and I’d sign off on them daily. (Pretty sure that’s how my daughter became so skilled at forging my signature.) Even when I started working in higher ed, students were still being handed planners. But here’s the thing: not everyone is a “planner person.”  For years, I’d buy new planners or fancy calendars, only to abandon them after three days. I’d feel guilty and frustrated, thinking I was just bad at it. Hopeless, even.  Now, as a therapist, I realize: planning is essential, but there’s no one-size-fits-all approach.  I personally use a paper planner, Google Calendar, and three online work calendars. Syncing them all? Virtually impossible. That’s why I keep coming back to my paper planner. It stays in my purse or bag and holds everything — work, life, self-care. Do I still forget stuff? Yep. But I try my best.  Stephen Covey said, “The week gives us the most manageable perspective.”  Habit 3 from The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People — “Put First Things First” — reminds us it’s not just about managing our clock, it’s about managing our compass.  When we plan, we should be guided by what really matters — and that includes making space for ourselves.  I tell clients all the time: You have to block it out.

My girlfriends and I recently started scheduling monthly get-togethers, we actually sat down and planned them out through December. Some nights it’s just dinner. Other months, a craft night. And occasionally, a weekend trip to Tulsa with brunch at our favorite spot. We realized that if we didn’t put it on the calendar, three months would pass without us seeing each other. (Thank goodness for group chats!)

Here’s the truth:

If we’re not intentional, life gets overwhelming. We get stuck.  That includes our health and eating habits, too. Research shows that meal planning makes it easier to stay on track. One of my favorite tips from The Beck Diet Solution goes like this:  If someone brings in a chocolate cupcake, you can say, “I didn’t plan to eat a cupcake today. But I can save it for tomorrow.”  No please, hear me out, It’s not about the cupcake.  It’s about keeping your power.  It’s about saying “not right now” — whether to a dessert, a last-minute ask, or anything else you’re too drained to take on today.

So find a few minutes — even just 15-20 — and plan your week.  Start small:  Just work commitments, just personal appointments, just meals.  It doesn’t matter where you begin — what matters is that you start now.